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Post by Azure_Ghidorah on Sept 6, 2008 21:39:47 GMT -5
As the title says.
Like I said in the C-Box, this is just a product of my chaotic mind running wild.
Haven't decided if I'll get my own Eva or just be a back up to Unit 01, I'll let you guys weigh in on it.
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Post by Talon on Sept 6, 2008 21:56:36 GMT -5
I cackled like a madman through the entire chapter! T'was very good, yes. Moar!
As for the Eva-pilot thing... err... I'd like to see what you can do with Eva-04. *smirk*
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Post by Azure_Ghidorah on Sept 7, 2008 16:40:15 GMT -5
The true 'first chapter' is up, and is almost, if not more then double the length of the prolouge! This kind of ran away with itself because I wanted to cliff it during the fight. Also, I was already leaning more towards having my own Evangelion instead of being a back-up pilot.
I kind of went for a similar fight to the Unit 01 vs. Sachiel fight, but more drawn out and more experienced, seeing as I had the advantage of watching three masters against better Angels. In the end, though, Sachiel still starts over-powering me as it breaks out the energy cross more frequently to compensate for my better fightning capability.
As I post this, I'm already typing up the next chapter!
Edit: Also, yes, Devon is my real name, but I'll never give out my last name.
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Post by Talon on Sept 7, 2008 17:13:23 GMT -5
Awesome chapter, man! You figured out everyone's personality perfectly, but I can't help but feel you made Shinji a tiny bit too whiney. Not that he wasn't in the show, though... anyway, good story! And don't die on us, goddamnit! >.<
*response to the last line* Heh, I've already given out both my first and last... but no one's yet to figure it out. *idiotic grin* Ironically enough, one of my brother-in-law's name is Devon...
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Post by Azure_Ghidorah on Sept 7, 2008 17:20:10 GMT -5
Eh, I don't like Shinji that much, hence why I made him a little more whiney then he is normally. Don't worry, he'll still get some fame for Angel kills. Also, that creepy that your brother-in-laws name is the same as mine...  Might get the next chapter up either later today or tomorrow. |
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Post by Fredrex00 on Sept 7, 2008 17:23:37 GMT -5
Okay, I have to say this Azure:
Hot damn, that chapter was good. I really couldn't understand the Prologue that good, but I read this new one, and I can kinda understand. Nice that Evangelion Unit 04 goes Berserker on its first fight...just...like.....well, you know already.
I'm enjoying this story Azure. Keep up the good work, bud.
Also...Asuka = Epic Win...>.>
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Post by Azure_Ghidorah on Sept 7, 2008 17:32:10 GMT -5
Um, it didn't... It was still normal... I don't plan on having Unit 04 go berserk for a little while. I don't think I gave any indication that Unit 04 went berserk. Ah well, no matter.
The prolouge was just me being f'ning hilarious and my first entrance.
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Post by Fredrex00 on Sept 7, 2008 19:12:24 GMT -5
I know it wasn't the same as Unit 01's Berserker. It just reminded me of that Berserker attack.
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Post by Azure_Ghidorah on Sept 7, 2008 21:17:18 GMT -5
Oh, my mistake, I misunderstood what you were saying, and now that I think about it, it was indeed like Unit 01's attack on Sachiel, only it was being held up by said Angel's arm.
Also, I'm a little more then half way done with the next chapter, all of these are probably gonna span like, what, 12 or 13 pages each on Microsoft Word?
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Post by Azure_Ghidorah on Sept 7, 2008 22:52:57 GMT -5
Eh, I'm nice and finish up another chapter for you guys.
It's shorter then I originally intended my chapters to be, but that seemed like a good place to end it.
And yes, I chewed Shinji out a bit for being whiney.
Also, for those complaining about the Berserker Unit 01 getting cut out, I plan to compensate for that.
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Post by Talon on Sept 8, 2008 18:26:08 GMT -5
Obviously not as action-y as the first chapter, but I liked it! Shinji got yelled at for being a pansy, you almost made Misato pee herself, and Azure didn't die! All good on my list. I lewk forward to the next chapter!
O'Malley: *hand comes up behind Talon and begins strangling him* Speaking of stories.... *hauls Talon off*
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Post by Azure_Ghidorah on Sept 10, 2008 20:07:48 GMT -5
Chapter three is up for veiwing. Yes, I had to do something majorly drastic in this.
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Post by Talon on Sept 10, 2008 20:55:06 GMT -5
T'was excellent, as expected! Unfortunate that Toji's sister died, but eh, can't stop what's already happened. Wantz moar!
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Post by Fredrex00 on Sept 13, 2008 17:41:15 GMT -5
Very interesting chapter I must say. It kinda took me by surprise when you killed Toji's sister rather then having her in critical condition. And its cool, yet at the same time extremely wicked and sick, of Devon to be planning out murder. I LOVED that. And it'll be interesting to see if Devon slips on accident and spills his guts.
Grade A chapter I must say.
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Post by Azure_Ghidorah on Sept 13, 2008 17:44:52 GMT -5
It's a plot device that I need to have so that everything can go as i plan them. The death of Toji's sister will have far-reaching effects. Like, EoE far-reaching.
And remember, the story me is only going to save murder as the absolute last resort, if everything else fails.
Also, I didn't even plan for to sound wicked or sick... It just came out that way...
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